We ended coming home last night around 7:30pm. Got all packed and ready to go around 2pm and hooked Ethan up to all the portable equipment and the darn monitor wasn't reading. Five and a half hours later a new monitor was delivered and we were off.
First Night: 3 hours sleep and I must confess, a husband who was up more than I was!
First Day: My daughter is a new child. . . Just happy mommy is in the house. . .
Two sons who were not so happy. They were begging for attention from Ethan and me. . . By noon Gage told me he hated me and that all I cared about was Ethan. He then went on to complain about his heart being sick the rest of the day and he needed to see the heart doctors :) Oh boy. At least no meds were missed and Ethan is still alive. However I must confess I ripped the Mickey Button out of his stomach and had to insert a new one.
By about 1pm today I was holding Ethan in the recliner wondering if I was going to be able to survive the next few months (or years). I was having feelings of doubt. Right then Alexa came and snuggled with me and Ethan on the recliner. Ethan decided it was time to bust out a couple of "real smiles". I knew then I could do it. . . Tender Mercies!
11 comments:
Heidi, WOW!!!!! Those words just made all the mothers out there, or anyone else for that matter, want to jump in their car and go straight over to your house and give you the biggest hug!!!! Gosh! it is insane what you are going through. If it makes you feel slightly better at all, you make me want to be a better mom every time I come to your blog..... You are a CHAMP! and a very special mother. We are cheering you on every minute of the way...
Oh, so glad you got that smile ... that will keep you going if nothing else!! My heart ached for you as I read your last post. Hang in there! You have so many that are cheering for you. Sending lots of love your way!
What a blessing to have the snuggles and the smiles. I can imagine how that would just warm your heart, after the other events and all that's been going on!
It is such a huge adjustment and a lot of work taking care of a heart baby, let alone trying to take care of your other children. Hang in there, it will get easier as the days go by. You will continue to be blessed with tender mercies from the Lord as you do your best. Once Ethan gets better, Kyson and I would love to meet you guys sometime!
Oh, heidi we are so glad you are home for at least a few weeks, we love you guys and are praying for you. You seriously couldnt ask for a cuter little man, he is so amazingly cute. We are all here for u and praying for u! Love ya tons.
You can do it, Heidi!! It will be a long road, but you are an amazing woman with an amazing family! Your kiddos will bounce back, I promise. They just have to get used to the new "normal" life. It made me cry that Ethan smiled for you!! I'm so happy for you!!
Oh all the challenges of juggling so much. Good thing you have practice at juggling many things. It is truly a gift from God, just as we are at our end thinking I don't know how I can do everything, God sends a little rainbow, sweet loves from the kids and smiles of joy. Hang in there mommy you are doing great! Let me know if there is ANYTHING I could do.
Gosh you put me in tears! Alexa is such a sweet girl. I dont know how you do it, but you do and you amaze me everytime I read your blog. YOu are in our prayers!
Oh I know how you feel.. It's craziness at first! YOU CAN DO IT!! Tender mercies will surround you and your other children! I'll be praying for you!
Oh heidi - I am totally crying!! These feelings are so real - reading this brings it all back. I can reassure you it will pass. I look back on all those tough moments and realize how much my heavenly father loved me during that time!!! I would love to come and visit ya??? I don't want to bug ya - but I have been thinking of you!! Take care!
ps remember to have a priesthood blessing just for YOU! and your other kids too!
Just wanted to say hi and that we were encouraged by your blog. Our Rudy (HLHS) seems to have lots in common with your little fighter (trach, G-tube, pleural effusions), not to mention a tendency toward prolonged stays in the hospital. Thanks for telling your story--it provides comfort to know we aren't the only ones.
Rolf and Trish
www.rudysbeat.wordpress.com
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