I paid the deposit and ordered Ethan's headstone today. I was dreading it but it was actually nice and uplifting. After going back and forth we decided simple and sweet. Ethan's above picture will be in the center. I have been very emotional for the last several days missing my little man. We went up to the hospital unit Monday and went to the D-backs game on Wednesday for the check presentation to Ethan's doctors from the fundraiser "Picnic at the Park". They D-backs foundation gave the Heart Center $25,000. That was $5,000 more than they were expecting. . . NICE! I did really well (no tears) for both events, but ever since I have been a wreck. I just miss him. It is nice to be with people who knew him well too (the staff).
The whole way to the hospital Cannon kept asking if we could go see Ethan's room where he died? Even though I told him, he was still perplexed that someone else was in Ethan's room. We took up our blue E sugar cookies (totally forgot to take a pic). After we set them down at the nurses station I started visiting with the nurses and my kiddos kept sneaking back over and eating them. Then, when we were at the baseball game I had a nice talk with Ethan's heart surgeon, Dr. Cleveland. We talked about a lot of stuff, but the bottom line is they wished they would have put him on the transplant list at birth. That would have been his only chance. His left ventricle muscle was large at birth (abnormal) but they thought it would eventually slow down in growth. It didn't. It just grew BIGGER and BADDER everyday! I hate that left ventricle! Oh well. We will still be doing an official sit down with the doctors probably at the end of October. They want to comb through his charts even more and study everything in detail before we meet. And let me tell you. . . it is a FAT chart!