"To become a winner in the race for eternal life requires effort—constant work, striving, and enduring well with God’s help. But the key is that we must take it just one step at a time." Marvin J. Ashton
This was a great reminder to read tonight. Every night we say family prayers, which includes the kids praying for a long list of heart kiddos (and of course Cannon still prays for Ethan to get resurrected soon). After tucking them in I went to check on Miracle Mason. He is suffering from rejection after his heart transplant but he, and his mommy, continue to fight. She had posted the above quote on today's update.
Lately I have been shedding many tears for my little man. I miss him so. Tomorrow will be 8 months since we laid his beautiful body in that beautiful casket. There are several songs that get played on the radio that I would hear on my long drive to and from St. Joe's. It seems like they are getting played alot lately. It has brought back many of the emotions of last year. The incredible ups and downs. It has refreshed the beauty and sorrow of that summer. The ultimate miracle is the answer and peace I received just prior to his passing. I have to remind myself of that often. It was so sweet, so true. However I still shed tears and my heart still aches.
I do know that the Lord allows sorrow and pain so that we can truly appreciate the joy. . .
My latest love is playing baseball in the backyard w/ the other three kiddos. The boys especially, are obsessed. We conditioned their gloves tonight and wrapped them w/ rubber bands to help "shape them" better. That lasted 15 minutes. They wanted them unwrapped so they could get a few more innings in the backyard before the sun went down. Then they all watched a few innings of the D-backs game on the internet (since it was blacked out on the TV). These are the joys I appreciate a little more. They are such good kids. I love them and their passion to do everything. Enjoying them one day at a time. . . despite the craziness of life.
PS: Greg thinks I am crazy, but I am having my kiddos hearts checked this Thursday w/ Ethan's cardiologist (echos and all). Obviously they don't have anything serious, but there is something to say about peace of mind!!! Right???
7 comments:
I still hear songs from our time at Stanford and have to take a minute and breathe. I'm so excited for Mason, today was a good day. Love you. And I have had my kids checked out too- your not crazy!
I have thought about taking Kamryn to have her heart checked, but I feel paranoid if I do. I think you just inspired me! :)
Hi Heidi,
I'm so sorry you're missing Ethan so very much at the moment. The ache is always there, but every now and then the bigger waves come crashing in. It's always the small things that catch you off guard, isn't it - like a song, or a smell. As our first son, Will, was being delivered, a song came on the radio called 'Stop Crying Your Heart Out', and that, to us, is Will's song. The lyrics are lovely and every time it comes on the radio it pulls me up short.
Thanks so much for all your messages of support while Charlie was in hospital - it meant so much to know that there were people praying for our Charlie-boy all over the world. And only other heart parents can really understand what it's like.
And, for the record, I'm with you on getting echos for the other kids! I'd have done the same if I had older ones - and if we're blessed with any more, I'll be having them checked out asap too!
I'm sure the results will be absolutely fine, and you'll be able to relax!
Sending love and gentle hugs your way. xxx
Yeah, I've definitely wanted to get Caleb's heart checked out. When we had a pulse-ox at home for Kyson I would often check Caleb (even though he was pink as can be) just to make sure he was in the normal range.
I'm sorry you are missing Ethan so much. He is a special boy!!!
My heart goes out to you.
It makes complete sense to me I would like my kids checked too. The hospital pediatrician almost missed my niece's Pulmonic Stenosis and it's discovery has required frequent assessment and potentially intervention, yet this condition was noticed by a nurse. When you know a Great Cardiologist that you trust, why not?!
Has it really been 8 months? Seems like a lifetime ago... yet just yesterday.
Hang in there.
Thinking of you and your family. A lot.
loves
Even though I have never met you yet I know what you are feeling missing a sweet baby. I love you so much and look forward to meeting you someday! Jamie
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