Cannon is my angel on Earth!

Yes, I used Cannon and angel in the same sentence. He has been more joy than mischief lately. And even though Ethan has been gone over 5 months. . . Cannon continues to be his biggest fan.
My sister-in-law asked me if I was writing down the sweet things Cannon has been saying. And I am guilty. I have not. So here are just a few glimpses.

Cannon ALWAYS blesses Ethan when it is his turn to pray. Sometimes he adds "bless Ethan to be resurrected". I without a doubt know I will see Ethan again on the other side. I also know one day he (we all) will be resurrected and his physical state will be made perfect. My older kids grasp that the timing of the second coming of Christ and resurrection is unknown (and far off). Cannon doesn't get it, although I have explained it to him 3-4 times a week since Ethan's passing. Tonight during prayers Cannon prayed: "Bless Ethan to come back alive fast. . .it is taking too long."

A few weeks ago my friend returned a cradle I had lended her. We used it for the first week or so Ethan was home. Even though he was a little baby, it wasn't working out, because he was a little baby with way too many tubes and wires attached to him and I just had no room to "work" when I was taking care of him and giving meds, feeds, suctioning, diapers, dressing changes, etc...). So we put up the crib and eventually lent the cradle out. Cannon and I walked into the garage after she returned it and there it was. . . Cannon gasped with excitement, put his hands on his cheeks and shouted (with the biggest grin ever) "Is that for Ethan? Is he coming back ALIVE? Can we put it in my room? I will take good care of him and help him when he wakes up at night!"

And as you can imagine he was quite disappointed when I told him the situation. But none the less he went on to talk about Ethan for the next 2 days straight. . . Including: "Mom, you need to have another baby boy so when Ethan comes alive he will have a buddy to play with like I have Gage."

And on the note of Gage. . . I heard Gage saying he was scared after we tucked them in tonight. Cannon and Gage share a room w/ two twin beds. A few minutes later I heard Cannon tell Gage he could come sleep with him. I thought it was sweet, but didn't think much more of the comment. This is how I found them when I went to check on them an hour later.

As I have pondered Cannon's change in demeanor, I can't help but wonder if he has changed, or have I just changed the way I view and love him. I must thank Ethan for those lessons. Learned the hard way, but none the less, learned (and hopefully never to forget).

XOXOXO